2016 has been… an interesting year. I don’t want to dwell on the negatives for too long because that would defeat the purpose of rising from the ashes (or burns) the events of 2016 has left me with.
I won’t blame the year for anything that has happened, it just happened to be a series of unfortunate events occurring within the same year. (Which reminds me I can not wait for the series of unfortunate events to start on Netflix!!! I loved those books as a child).
A year is just a measurement of time and time continues to exist, regardless of when we consider this year to start and end.
Having said that, I do hope that the end of this year means the break of a curse, bad luck, or whatever negativity I am surrounded with. Although I survived a near death experience a couple of years back I still don’t consider that year to be the worst one.
Mentally, I found myself all over the place this year. I feel tired. I try to be happy on the exterior but the back of my mind is always somewhere else, always questioning if I was worthy of the second chance at life I was given. I feel more alone than ever, although I’m surrounded by so many wonderful people!
I started this blog to log my thoughts, to create and connect with people alike. Although I enjoyed each and every post, I look back and I feel that a part of me was missing. My heart wasn’t in it.
If you compare my post now to then you’ll see how much more I have let myself get influenced by the likes of social media.
Lets leave the blog aside, as a person I’m not happy with myself. I’m not sure what caused this but I think somewhere along the way I lost myself. While wanting to keep up with everyone is great motivation, it shouldn’t be about trying to be like them.
There’s no part of me that feels like I have accomplished anything this year but that’s not true at all! I’m not writing this to be pitied but to remind myself that this is just a phase. In the end I’ll be stronger for it.
As we speak I’m realising that I’m just tired of the life I’m leading. I have allowed people and situation to lead me to doubt myself. For the new year I’m going to make a conscious effort to change this.
So as a new years resolution I want the beginning of 2017 and every day from there on to mark the day where I choose to be happy. Regardless of what the day brings or what people say to me, I choose to appreciate and love the life I have been given.
I realise how cringey that sounds but even I can’t deny myself of happiness…
Health and wellbeing:
The one thing I managed to maintain this year is healthy eating and fitness. My progress has been slow but it’s better than no progress at all. I want to push myself to go clean and cut out chocolate completely. I’m even thinking of getting myself a personal trainer, thinking being the keyword (this part might be a bit of a stretch). You may think I’m crazy but I think I can do it guys and so can you!
Fashion and Beauty:
***I’m warning you guys – you are in for a rant!***
I was far too influenced by the instagram trends this year. Better said, instagram as a whole has played a big part in making me feel crappy I.e always needing to post “fleeky” pictures. I’m not shaming the trends but when it came to me – personally I felt that I needed to be able to master the IG look and feature the perfect feed to be able to keep up or be worthy of the instagram world.
I love make up and all the new cult products that have been floating about but I prefer finding niche things whilst also trying things without it being thrown in any face constantly. I’m someone that’ll just purchase items as and when I need them rather than adding things to a collection just because that’s what’s been raved about.
I’m glad I allowed myself to experiment on my face but I think I’ll stick to my own looks from now on. I don’t need an instagram face vs IRL face. My IRL face is good enough for me. In all honesty I’m considering less make up for the new year and I’ve already started doing so too.
I feel so silly and childish for bringing it up! When did I become so self conscious? When did a tiny little app on a phone have so much influence over my decisions? I used to love using IG to share parts of my life, but that was way back when…
I feel a lot of bloggers can relate to this, or just anyone in general. How we portray ourselves on social media has become somewhat of a scary obsession – it shouldn’t be an added problem for us in this day and age. Life gives us plenty of crap to deal with as it is but I guess it would only be happening in this day and age. Given the multitude of social platforms, where everyone can express their opinions and not be held accountable.
Whereas for my personal style; I’ve been playing around with a capsule wardrobe. It’s my go to right now and I’ll be carrying that on next year too! SO at least it’s looking good in that front.
Im not saying I don’t want to be in a relationship but I’m just not going to consciously make an effort to find someone. I tried once and that’s good enough for me…
I know in an earlier post I said I’ll be trying to date a bit more but I’m not about that life.
With so many of my friends getting married and people asking me if I’m “still” single (not that it is anyone’s business) I started to question myself. Maybe I should have been making a bit more effort?
I’ve always known when the time is right I’ll meet someone great and when we do find each other I’ll know that he’ll be worth my time. My instincts have never failed me. I’ve waited this long I can wait longer. He is worth the wait. (He better be)
Whilst I wait, I’m learning to love myself for the weirdo I am.
And that is the real reason I chose to be single.
***But boy you’re reading this! You better not take too long cause I’m starting to get grey hairs already 😂***
All in all this years has been very experimental to say the least.
I’ve tried and experienced many new things. Some of which I enjoyed others not so much (at all).
I was able to get to know myself a whole lot more.
While I still have a lot more to see and learn I think I can move on to the new year feeling hopeful that it’ll be a better one.
I wish you all a HappyNewYear!
And I’ll catch you on the other side 🙂
With loads of love