Be You | my perfect imperfections

cakery-2I’ve had so many insecurities and it always felt easier to deal with it in silence. My insecurities are merely what I see to be unattractive about myself.

Perspective – this word has repeatedly sneaked up on me to remind me that those moments where we are in relation to someone else can be a life altering experience.

The perspective I had of myself was purely negative and it’s true when people say – you are your harshest critique.

We all have insecurities, we all have problems and we all have things we wish we could change but when you introduce the element of perspective your outlook of yourself changes.

There are people with far more problems making the best of the situation they are in.

The moment we engage and dwell on our personal problems and our insecurities we forget we’ve survived every single bad day so far. Sometimes we just need to take a step back and remind ourselves to just be grateful of the things we have.

My imperfections are actually something that I have grown to love the most about myself because they have taught me how to take care of myself. Healing takes time and it’s taken a lot of time to change the way I think of myself.

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One – “Some women fear the fire, some women simply become it…” – r. h. sin

I have struggled with facial hair ever since I hit puberty. I’m not talking about that five o’clock shadow above our lips but HAIR all over my face. Women get facial hairs too. Women of colour (most, not all) have darker hair so it’s much more visible.

I used to get my face waxed once a month to make sure I look presentable. I also caked my face to cover the facial hair and blemishes. Nowadays, it’s a luxury I can’t afford so often and I’m perfectly content strutting my inner Frida Kahlo.

I’ve really been enjoying wearing less make up and a more natural face. Just the other day as I was getting ready to go on a night out I splashed out on the make up and my skin felt very trapped. Changes are a good thing.

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Two – “She’s already had everything she needs within herself. It’s the world that convinced her she did not.” – Rupi Kaur

I’ve spoken quite a bit about acne and scarring, and I may have lightly touched on bacne scarring but I have never been able to share pictures because that would mean it’ll be on the internet forever for everyone to witness. I have tried everything under the moon to rid the sins on my back but for some reason the skin on my back seems to be a lot more stubborn than the skin on my face.

The scarring on my back has limited me many times from wearing backless or even sleeveless dresses. If I did wear them I would try to cover it with my long hair.

Somewhere along the line I just stopped caring. Even if people noticed it, they stopped asking what it was.

That was actually the only thing holding me back from many things – other peoples perception of me and my insecurities but everything is magnified in our own minds.

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Three – “It’s a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable” – Socrates 

To some I may look “skinny” to others I could look “fat”. I’ve learned, what I think of myself is more important to me.

My weight loss journey has been somewhat of battle between mind and body. The journey may have started because I wanted to lose weight and be “skinny” but I’m more than happy with the amount of weight I have already shed and could go on living looking the way I do. I did this by finding a routine I could maintain and sustain. (I know, I know.. such a  cliché fitness coach dialogue)

However, my goals have changed since I started. It’s no longer about losing weight but becoming stronger. I want to push my body to limits I never thought were physically possible for myself. I want to wake up with sore muscles every day so that I don’t remember how it feels not to be sore, because that’ll be the norm. (I realise that’s a bit extreme but who can relate to that?)

I’ve always enjoyed eating, I don’t follow diets or deprive myself of things I’m craving but I have found balance and my next step is to learn more about nourishing myself and become disciplined.

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Whatever it is you are learning to love about yourself, just remember someone already loves that part of you. ❤

Thank you all for reading and all the positive messages. You guys really don’t know how much it means to me!

As always I’ll catch you in the next one

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